4th of July Drama

Did everyone have a good 4th of July?  I didn't have high expectations for the 4th, being we had a newborn at home.  But I had hoped we could do a little something as Bella has shown enjoyment for watching fireworks in the past.
Our neighbors were having a get together, a little afternoon swimming, bbq, and then fireworks at dusk.  Jesse and Bella went over for the swimming portion and as usual Bella had a good time.  Oliver and I joined them over there for dinner.  And by 7pm, Bella was a fussy, whinny mess.  Apparently our even small plans were not going to be working out.  And this is where life with Bella gets tricky.  If she's tired or sick/teething, then there is no compromise with her.  She needs complete attention and she pretty much needs to be in her bed.  If there are evening plans there is probably only about a 25% chance we will be able to participate with Bella.   The reality is we either have to have a babysitter for her, or we have to have the activity at our house so we can put her to bed.
And yes this becomes very stressful for us.  Just last night Jesse still wanted to go back over to the party to enjoy the fireworks, and even though I was tired and my feet were swollen and needed to rest, I was tired of being left behind.  But that is pretty much the reality of our life, we can't participate in activities like everyone else, and very rarely can we attend together.  It ended up that we put Bella and Oliver to bed, and went out on our deck to watch the fireworks together, me with my very swollen feet up.  We complained a little about our predicament and hoped for better 4th of July's to come!