Merry Christmas!

It's been one of those holidays.  The cookies have all been made, granted it took until Christmas Eve to get them frosted, so needless to say the cookies did not get distributed to friends, teachers, neighbors.  Instead we get to eat hundreds of cookies and feel bad because we didn't get anything delivered.

 And as with all holidays, Bella got sick (teething) 3 days before Christmas.  So we had to cancel our plans to head back to Nebraska for Christmas and hunkered down at home to spend time with our sick child.  The last three nights we have been splitting shifts sleeping with Bella, who wakes up every hour coughing.  The first night it was actually every 15 minutes, so we have made progress.
We did manage to make it to Christmas Eve service.  I had to laugh because anyone who heard Bella cough or saw her (her eyes are all red again due to breaking of the blood vessels around the eyes from coughing) would think she was an extremely sick child and should not be out in public.  But we took her knowing she isn't contagious and made it through the service (with little talking and little coughing).
So today we spend our Christmas day, Bella getting better, and Jesse and I doing things around the house (is that normal).  And hoping that soon we will get a good night's sleep.
Some year maybe we can enjoy Christmas activities on Christmas, but until then..........Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Picture Overload

It may have been awhile since we took pictures and uploaded pictures around our house.  So this will be a very long post (mostly visual) to get you up to date.

Our house at night.  Can you see the left string at the top of the roof line is out.  Well it seems we have some busy little squirrels who keep chewing through our lights.  We have already lost 4 small white strands and one large red strand.  Not sure what to do about that, and we have hundreds of squirrels around here.

 This picture I mainly posted so you could see my double chin.  I was completely unaware I had one....going to have to work on that.

 Here are a couple of pictures of our brand new fireplace logs installed on Friday.  We have been enjoying them, it makes the family room so much cozier.  For now you will have to use your imagination to see the new fireplace mantel, columns, and trim work all in white.  It should finally complete the room (well in our heads at least, this project is way down on the list of priorities).

 Our church had a Christmas cantata this morning, and Bella did a great job watching and listening.  Of course every time the choir stopped singing (and I really do mean every time) she would talk in a very loud voice.  It made us laugh, and some times during speaking parts or solos we had to quietly hush her, or cover her mouth.

 When we got home we let her play around with the new battery operated LED lights Jesse had bought.  She thought they were great.

 We tried to get a family portrait in front of the fireplace.  Here is a shot showing our lovely blackened brick.

 Sometimes it's hard to hold Bella up and maker her look like she is sitting independently.  As you can see, I might have been trying a little too hard here.

 Well it's a couple more days of work and then off for the holidays.  I have been busy making cookies around here and trying to get all the last minute gifts.  Not too mention the pile of gifts staring up from below the tree waiting to be wrapped.  Kind of wishing I would have taken this whole week off...........

A reprieve

Amazingly enough, the day after I left my last post where Jesse and I had reached our limit, Bella's mood greatly improved.  She has been happy since last Friday.  I'm not really sure how being that last Thursday we went to the ear doctor again and Bella's single ear infection had turned into a double ear infection.  We still have the ear infection and tomorrow we will be going back again to finally get medicine for her.  Because we have been battling so many ear infections we have scheduled another ear surgery to get the current tubes removed and then new antibacterial ones put in.  The question we currently have is whether it is better to let her ears heal before we put in new tubes, therefore requiring two separate surgeries; or to put the new tubes in immediately and risk having problems.  I think we have a risk of problems either way, so it's a hard decision to make, and we are still working out the details.
In the meantime both Jesse and I have a work deadline on the exact same day, which means we have been taking turns working long hours.  Hopefully we will get a break at the end of the week and be able to enjoy the Christmas season.
Speaking of, I have been feeling a little bit like scrooge as I have decided not to send out Christmas cards this year.  I just haven't found the time, and the commitment of sending out over 100 cards just gets to be too much.  So this year we will not be sending out cards.....you just might find a Christmas wish on the blog here as the holiday gets closer.  If we can finally get the camera out and get a good family picture.

On my knees

The saying goes "God doesn't give you more than you can handle", and while that may be true, sometimes I don't want to have to be the strong one.  Sometimes I would like the quality of my life, Jesse's life, and Bella's life to improve.
If the point is to make me feel like a bad mother because I can't deal with my child anymore...then I'm there.
If the point is to overwhelm me so that I don't have the motivation to get anything done...then I'm there.
If the point is to make Jesse and I so stressed that we take it out on each other....then we are there.
If the point is to make this rough patch seem like it's going to last an eternity and nothing will ever get better...then I'm there.
If the point is to add insult to injury by having a mouse poop all over my kitchen, on all my utensils, all my dishes, all my pots and pans, so that I can't even feed my family without having to do a million extra dishes...well that happened too.

I read other blogs and support group pages, where mothers and some fathers will write about their kids struggles, and then say "but I wouldn't change a thing about them, I love them just the way they are!".
REALLY!!
Either they are saints, or I am just a bad person.  I would change things about Bella if I could.  Why else would you go through these constant therapies and doctors appointments, etc, if you didn't want to try and improve your child's life.

I will admit that although we go through our struggles life is easier when Bella is happy.  But Bella hasn't been happy in months, in fact I would say this particular spell has been going on since July.  It just comes and goes so that we have small pockets of good days and long weeks of bad ones.  And there seems to be no end in sight.

So I am down on my knees with my arms thrown up over my head.  I give up.  All I know is Bella needs some relief from all this pain she is going through, and Jesse and I need our sanity back.....and soon.

Thanks for listening.

The small violin

Do you hear it playing in the background?
I know I seem to complain about the same things over and over again.  And most people must think we are crazy when we keep blaming teething for all our problems.  But honestly, this is getting ridiculous.  Every other week we have to stay home with Bella for a day or two because she is teething and is exhibiting a fever, ear infection, not eating, constipated, coughing through the night, and in general being cranky and very irritable.
This whole process is never ending, and the symptoms seem to get worse and worse all the time.  Bella has been teething for awhile and we would have a few things going on, but not this constant all day and night long struggle that keeps her from school and daycare and keeps us up all night and not functioning.
Most of all I feel bad for her, because I know this isn't fun and she seems to be miserable a lot of the time.  And unfortunately we don't really have anything new to report around here, just trying to survive all this teething, and hopefully fit a little bit of the holidays in around it!

Exterior Christmas Decorations

We spent last weekend decorating the outside of our house for Christmas.  

I was excited to get out all the wreaths and bows I had purchased last year.  I think it looks great, too bad we are hardly ever home during the light of day to see it.

 I also bought these really large ornaments and put them in our evergreen tree.  I am going to have to purchase more this year (hope they still make them), as they barely seemed to make a dent in the huge tree.

Now how about a small dusting of snow to make everything look more festive!

The Season of Lights

This weekend officially kicked off Bella's favorite season, you know, the one with all the lights.

On Saturday night we headed over to the Overland Park Aboretum, where for two weekends a year they do a light and luminary display

 The weather was just right for bundling up and walking a 1.5 mile lighted trail.

 Bella seemed to enjoy the trip, and we lucked out by going right at dusk to beat the crowds.  If you are in the area, it is definitely something to see.

St. Louis Day 2

 Day 2 was the reason we were in St. Louis, and that was to attend my cousin's wedding and reception.

We had time that morning to run to a nearby mall.  Can you believe this was actually the first time Bella had been in a mall?  Not shopping.....just in a mall.  And it didn't go very well.  We were only able to get through 2 stores before Bella was fussing so much we had to leave.

I had decided that it would probably be in our best interest if Bella stayed back at the hotel with Jesse to take a nap instead of attending the actual wedding ceremony.  She was able to get in a 45 minute nap and was wide awake by the time we made it back to the hotel.  We had 3 hours to kill between the wedding and the reception, so all the extending family was supposed to be up in the parents of the bride's hotel room, for drinks and appetizers.  Bella was not having it, and wasn't happy regardless of being held, being feed, being able to lay out on a mat, etc.  So Jesse and I went back to our room to trouble shoot Bella's condition.  We knew she was basically teething again, seemed to be hungry all the time, and probably a little constipated (I know you all wanted to know that last part).  We also knew the reception was not going to go well, but at 6:25pm we headed off to give it a try anyways.

 I forgot to mention that at one point earlier that day Bella coughed/choked on her meal and popped all the blood vessels around her eyes, so she basically looked like she had been beaten up.
Bella actually did well at the reception.  She wasn't happy, can you tell?  But she did let us hold her for two hours as we had cocktails and dinner.  We were hoping she would make it long enough so we could dance with her, but unfortunately she broke down and was ready to go at 8:30pm (dancing hadn't started yet).

So as soon as Jesse took his last bite of dinner, and I mean literally, we whisked her off and headed back to the hotel.  She went to bed fairly easily, but had a horrible night's sleep, waking up and fussing again and again.  The next morning she was also very irritable, so we were very excited for our 4 hour drive home.  She of course did not sleep, even though she desperately needed to, but made it most of the trip in a content mood.
We have still been teething since we made it home, but we seem to be getting better (I'm currently knocking on wood), and thinking that this won't turn into the horrible coughing episode we had last time.

St. Louis Day 1

This past weekend we took a trip down I-70 to St. Louis.  Both Jesse and I had been there as children, but didn't really remember being there.  And this was our first real road trip to another town with Bella.  Yes we travel all the time to Nebraska, so the duration wasn't longer than we have done before.  But the whole staying in a hotel with her was a little different.

We started off our afternoon with a trip to the St. Louis Arch.  It was a great day for late November.  If you have never done the arch before, you ride up in this tiny white pods.  Bella thought this was great and laughed the whole way up.

 My sister came along with us, as her husband, David, watched Bella's cart.  Something about him being afraid of heights.

 Of course every time we tried to get a picture of Bella laughing, she would put her arm in front of her face.

 Once you get up top, its pretty crowded and they have all these little windows to look through.

 Bella loved being up there, although I really have no idea why.

 That evening we headed downtown to a recommended Mexican restaurant.  It worked out really well, as they gave us this huge booth and Bella could lay down beside us.  If you can see, Bella's legs are behind me.

 And we ended the night with our first taste of Gelato.  Bella really liked it!  I'm guessing the cold gets to her though, as she will normally only eat about 10 bites of ice cream, custard, gelato, and then she is done.

It was a great day.  Bella liked being out while it was dark out and all the lights of downtown.  It's not often we take her out during the night.  Usually it's too late and during the winter it's too cold.  Hopefully we can get out more with her this year.  Especially during the Christmas light season.

Well Day 2 will be coming up tomorrow, it was a completely different day from the first.

Micky Mouse's Birthday

Thursday was Mickey Mouse's Birthday and Bella's preschool class celebrated by making Mickey ears and having a parade.  I just had to post this picture, since Bella actually had her head up.

Rehab Clinic

We did have an interesting time at our rehab clinic appointment a couple of weeks ago.
The clinics at Children's Mercy are always long.  If it isn't a really long wait because of the number of people, then it's just a long wait because everything seems to take forever.  But needless to say an appointment that would take a normal person less than an hour can take us up to 4 hours.  And I am not exaggerating.  And this appointment was one of them.
In the waiting room there were two other families.  One of the families had 3 young girls with them.  Right at the start the mom started asking me questions about Bella's cart and if I minded answering questions about Bella herself.  I didn't mind, and in fact I would rather have people ask me questions about Bella.   I don't mind talking about what makes Bella - Bella.  The hard part for me is when I'm not with Bella and people ask me if I have any kids. And ask how old they are.  I will say I have a three year old.  And then they go on and on about what a three year old is like.  How it might be worse than the terrible twos, how they hold such interesting conversations, and run around everywhere.  I usually don't want to insult them, so I just nod my head and smile.  Not really saying anything to add to their conversation, but also not saying that my child can't do any of those things.
As we were still waiting in the room, the 3 little girls came over.  They were also very curious about Bella and asking questions.  Again the mother asked if I minded.  The first question was "Why is she like that?"  To which I answered that she was born that way.  Then she asked me "How was she born?"  To which I laughed and said I would let her mom cover that one.  They touched her cart and her hair, claiming she had beautiful curly hair.  It's always interesting to see how kids react to Bella.  I think in general most kids are curious and I think it's good to let them be curious and ask questions.  The more they know about things now, the less likely they will be scared or prejudice later in life.

See Below

Appropriate titles for this post could be:

We're Pathetic
I hate when it gets dark outside before you get home from work
Too tired to get anything done

I'm not going to talk about how we aren't getting sleep anymore and how Bella is up all the time, because this week we have actually been doing okay in that department.  In fact last night Bella pretty much slept through the night.
So how do you explain the fact that nothing is getting done around our house, because as soon as we get Bella put down for bed, we usually turn to each other and complain about how exhausted we are, and then decide to go to bed ourselves.  And sometimes that is as early as 7:30pm.  Yes, I know, that's why we are pathetic.  And our house is one huge mess because of it.  I don't know if I can blame it on the time change, but it's really hard to convince myself to do anything once the sun has gone down.  And since it's down before I get home, well then, that might explain the huge messes in every room, and the piles of laundry that need to get done.
Well I always have my Friday's to get things done around the house.  Except this Friday Bella and I will be running around to different appointments.  And then her therapists called from Children's TLC and they want Bella to come stay with them that evening for a Parents Night Out.  So Jesse and I will get to go out for a dinner date, or maybe some shopping on the Plaza.  And maybe just maybe, stay up past 8pm!!

Busy Catching Up on Sleep

Things are slowly getting better around our house.  Bella is still coughing, but it's not very often during the day, and at night we are still getting up 2 or 3 times, but the duration of coughing has lessoned.  So I take that as progress.

Of course I had to come down with a cold this weekend, so I'm not doing so great.  We are all busy trying to catch up on sleep.  In fact Bella slept from 3pm on Saturday afternoon till 9am the next morning.  That's one tired child!

Coughing

So today Jesse has decided to stay home with Bella.  It's been a toss up as to whether we should keep her home from school or not this week.  The nights have been horrible, but the days aren't quite as bad.  Yesterday she did end up going to school, and since I didn't hear from the teachers the day must have gone alright.  But when Jesse picked her up from daycare last night, she didn't want to eat and fell asleep in his lap.  She proceeded to take a two hour nap, and when she woke up, she still didn't want dinner, or even anything to drink.
Just to show you what our typical nights have been lately - last night:

Bella went to bed around 9pm (a little later due to the extra nap)
1am Bella wakes up coughing, her coughing is so bad that it goes on forever and for minutes at a time I am pretty sure she can't really take a good breath.  We had her swabbed for whooping cough at the doctors, even though they didn't think it sounded like she had it.  If she did have it, we would find out today.
1:15am we get Bella back asleep
1:20am back up with coughing fits again
1:25am Bella is sleeping again
1:35am back up with coughing fits
1:45am Bella is sleeping agin
2:00am back up coughing again - which at this point you start getting mad and asking why she can't be allowed to just sleep
2:15am Bella is sleeping
2:30am back up coughing AGAIN, and of course each time we wake up coughing Bella is more upset, which makes the coughing worse
2:45am Bella is sleeping
3:30am back up again coughing
3:40am sleeping again
*and when I say sleeping again all these times I only mean Bella, it takes Jesse and I a little longer to actually fall asleep.  Most of the night we are actually up and listening for the coughing to start again.
5:30am coughing and crying and fussing
6:00am Jesse decided to stay home from work and take Bella downstairs and see if she is finally hungry
6:15am Bella does not want to eat or drink
6:30am Bella falls asleep on dad's lap on the couch

Yep, that's what we have been dealing with for the past 4 or 5 weeks.  And we literally have made no improvements, so it's hard to say just how much longer we are going to have to deal with this.

The Devil is working overtime

Its the first post from dad (jesse) on this site.  In the past I've tried to stay away and let Kristen do her postings, but I feel like I've had enough and need to vent.  You may wonder why I chose that title, and I hope by the time you finish reading this post you'll understand.  It's hard enough being a parent to a 3 year old child that can't hold their head up, can't sit up on their own, can't crawl, can't walk, can't feed themselves, can't give themselves a drink, and most importantly can't communicate.  If we could just choose one of them, I think both Kristen and I feel communication is the most important.

As I sit here this morning at 545 before I go into work, I have reached the breaking point.  If you have read any of Kristen's previous posts about Bella being sick, that's the main reason why I'm writing this.  The one Positive that Kristen and I have held onto all along was that Bella has been a relatively healthy baby, and now toddler.  But over the past 5 weeks now... I've lost count and quite honestly don't give a damn anymore... Bella has been waking up 2-5 times each night coughing.  As of yesterday, the doctor cleared Bella of being sick with anything.  So what does that mean, well it means there is no end in sight.  For whatever reason Bella decides that she needs to cough (we think its teething related and all of the excess spit) but since she cant communicate, we get to spend the remainder of our lives guessing. So we just have to deal with it now as there are no meds that we can give her to curb this.  We had tried giving her some breathing treatments, but that clearly isn't working either, since its really not a virus infecting her lungs.  So will this continue for as long as Bella teethes?  Hopefully not since she still has over half a  mouth to go.

So I'm just pissed... and since I don't have anyone to be pissed at, I get to be pissed at God.  Not because he put Bella in our hands to take care of her (which definitely hasn't been easy)... but pissed because he is constantly testing all of us and it seems to me like he's pushing the limits.  What I try to understand is why he makes Bella suffer.  All she needs and wants is a full nights sleep or nap for that matter, but it's constantly interrupted by coughing spells.  We won't get into the lack of sleep Kristen and I have, having to work, and having to take care of Bella (full time job, and then some)... I've given up on that.

Some of you may say that God is not testing us or causing this to happen... to that I say B.S... Put yourself in our shoes for just one F'n day, and I'll let you make your own decision.  We (Kristen) takes Bella to her yearly check ups / clinics and there is never anything new to report on her progress... talk about a Debbie Downer.  The grandparents are always positive about Bella (mainly cause I think they try to keep our spirits up)... but it's becoming harder and harder to believe them.  We saw a pediatric specialist when Bella was young, and I asked him to be honest with us and tell us the worst thing to expect.  He told us that if Bella didn't walk or talk by the age of two, then she never would.  I thought that was kind of harsh, but nonetheless, he gave me his honest opinion for which I asked... and unfortunately I'm starting to believe him.  What I try not to think about too much is what Bella will be like in another couple years, when she's bigger and even harder to manage, but with all of the same issues listed above.

What the F did we do?  Was I really that bad of a person all of my life to deserve this?  I feel bad for being so mad right now, as I know others have it hard to and there are plenty of things to be thankful for... but for once, I would like something Bella related to go our way... some sign of progress, some sign of hope... cause mine is all used up and God hasn't really answered my prayers.  And you may say that God works in mysterious ways and you don't always see the answers right in front of you.... that couldn't be more right on, cause I haven't seen S#%$.

I could ramble on, but I best get to work... Sorry God for throwing you under the bus, but I'm not very happy with you right now.
Jesse

Typical

Well it seems last night for the short time we were outside was the last we will see of Bella the pirate.  She was coughing again last night and this morning, and I started getting a sore throat, coming down with a cold.  So Bella did not go to school today.  I say this is typical, because anytime I buy/make something for a special occasion, it usually never happens.  I think I should learn from this and start believing in last minute options.

Of course now that it's almost noon, we seem to be just fine (Bella anyways).   I also talked to her teacher this morning who told me she had a cough for three weeks, and Jesse himself has had a cold/cough for weeks.  I guess it's just something going around right now, a cold that doesn't want to leave.  I can't wait till the time I can sleep through the night again.  I think I have forgotten what that is like.

Happy Halloween

 We went out trick-or-treating and hit all of two houses.  It was getting chilly quickly and while we started out our journey with a smile, by house number 2 we were coughing.  So we quickly proceeded to head back home.

 Bella has a costume parade and party at preschool tomorrow, so she will get to show off her pirate costume one more time.  I'm not really sure what she thinks of all of it.  But as shown above, she did smile while out and about.  And she did cry when I took the outfit off (an no, it wasn't hurting her to come off).  I actually have no idea why we cried, so I'm going to say we loved our outfit and like most kids wanted to stay dressed up!

Go Huskers

This weekend was our annual trip back to Nebraska for a football game.  We usually meet up with some of Jesse's friends from college and enjoy the day tailgating.  Some years we actually go into the game, but this year we decided not to.  It was a great game and we actually got more out of it seeing it on TV.  It also helped that we were still with a large crowd watching it just across from the stadium.

It was great to see everyone again, and thanks Kristine for the hospitality!

We were partially bad parents in that we left our sick child with her grandparents in order to be at the game.  It was just teething, but unfortunately she was running a fever and didn't want to eat much.  But like all of Bella's episodes the fever and not eating only lasted for a day (conveniently while we were away!  Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Sneller!)

Watch Out

I have this obsession with Dr. Pepper.  I love it, and I would drink it all day long.  Except it isn't good for me, and I know this.  So usually I limit myself to one a day.  Well I have been saying I need to drop the soda for quite a while, but I can never quite start it.  I know it will mean a week of headaches, and who wants to voluntarily have that.

Well on another blog I read called "Young House Love", the guy also has an obsession with Dr. Pepper.  And he decided that for all of October he would drink only water.  Well if he could do it, then I could do it too.  Granted I waited until the end of the month to start.  And I did have headaches, for 2 days straight.

But the biggest thing I noticed is that I have been in a very bad mood these past couple of days since giving up my Dr. Pepper.  I'm not quite sure it has anything to do with it, but it might.  Every little thing bothers me.

And Bella, well Bella is not helping the cause.  I'm not sure if she is feeling under the weather, or what is going on, but she refuses to hold her head up while eating.  And doesn't want to eat as much as she normally has.  Not to mention after 3 weeks we are still having to get up during the night 2-3 times to console her from coughing, crying, etc.  That is a long time, and I'm not sure it's really warranted (meaning she doesn't really seem to have anything wrong with her, so I'm wondering if we are getting played).

Regardless this is all adding up to me wanting to crawl in a hole, a nice black hole, and maybe sleep for a couple of days, and when I get back up maybe the world will have righted itself.

Well, at least Colby hit the jackpot.

TV Shows

Most times when watching tv shows, whether they are sitcoms or dramas, I don't usually think they represent real life very well.  Recently I have started to watch the show "Parenthood".  I don't know if anyone else watches this particular show, but one of the couples have a son who they have just found out has autism.  I don't have any real experience with autistic children myself, but I understand the struggle this family goes through.  In fact in almost every episode it makes me tear up, because I get it, the issues/problems may not be exactly the same ones Bella goes through, but the way it makes us feel as parents is the same.

I remember in particular last week, the parents attended a support group for others like themselves, and one of the mothers said. "My husband goes off to work every morning and doesn't come home until dinner time or later.  I am the one who deals with our son, and don't get me wrong I love him, but sometimes I feel like I am on an island all by myself, with a son who doesn't feel my emotions or react to what I am doing, it's very lonely."

I get that.  And when people wonder why I chose to go back to work, that is part of the reasoning.  I know that Bella can benefit from me being home.  But she can also benefit from being out in the world reacting with other people, in school, and at the babysitters.  And in that way, we can get off of the island.

A failed attempt

My work was hosting a family day at the Louisberg Cider Mill on Sunday, and we decided to go.

Major problem being it was outside, and today was sunny, and Bella would have nothing to do with holding her head up.  She pretty much looked like this the whole time.

We quickly had some apple doughnuts (which were delicious) and some hot apple cider.  And I ran into the general store to buy some apple butter, and we called it a day.

We did manage to get her to hold her head up briefly in the tee-pee, although you can't tell that is where she is.

I think we are going to have to stick with indoor activities if we expect Bella to be able to enjoy herself.  But we will keep trying periodically in the hopes that someday we will get over our aversion to the sun.

Any Guesses Yet?

Bella will not be a fictional character.

I have all the pieces cut out, good thing I only have one weekend left to sew 4 different pieces of the costume.

ZZZZZzzzzz

I like my sleep.  In fact I am one of those unlucky people who need about 9 hours a night to function.  I say  unlucky because I know those rare people who only need 6 hours of sleep, they get to stay up later, and wake up early with no problems.  I am extremely jealous of those people.

It isn't very often that I get 9 hours of sleep.  Although I would say on average I get between 7 and 8 hours.  Granted I have to go to bed around 9:30pm, because on a normal good sleeping night, Bella wakes up at 5:30 or 6am.

But we haven't had normal for awhile.  We seem to be stuck in this rut of coughing all night long.  We just went through a week of bad sleeping, had one or two weeks of normal sleeping, and are now back to bad sleeping again.  And by bad sleeping I mean waking up and coughing every 1 to 2 hours.  Which is pretty much worse than a new born, or at least Bella when she was a new born.

I feel so bad for her, I know she isn't getting a good sleep either, and it's not like she wants to cough so badly she can't stop.  But we can't figure out what to do about the cough.  It's not from a cold, we are pretty sure it's from teething.  She pools the saliva in the back of her mouth and when she is sleeping she can't swallow it, so she just starts coughing.  And unfortunately she doesn't realize when she wakes up coughing that all she needs to do is swallow.  Instead we have to force water down her mouth, so that she will swallow the water and saliva.

So this is pretty much just a long post about saliva...and not sleeping.  And how frustrating it is to have a child who teeths for eternity.  I know everyone knows how bad teething is.  Now imagine it lasting for EVER!  I am not exaggerating either.  At 3 years old we still only have 5 teeth on top and 4 teeth on bottom, and 3 incisors poking through.  Which means we have more than half a mouth to go.....

Pumpkin Cheesecake Muffins

I have gotten a lot of questions about the recipe for the pumpkin muffins.  Now I qualify them as muffins because I eat them for breakfast and they don't have frosting on them.  Really they are called pumpkin cupcakes.

What you Need:
1 pkg (2-layer size) cake -white,spice,yellow,whichever you have on hand
Ingredients listed on cake mix
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 Tbsp pumpkin pie spice (or a mixture of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg)

Make It:
Heat oven to 350 degrees

Prepare cake batter as directed on package (I substitute applesauce for the butter or vegetable oil to make it healthier).  Add pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice.  Spoon into muffin tin.

Beat cream cheese with mixer until creamy, blend in sugar and egg.  Spoon over batter, swirl gently with toothpick.

Bake 18 to 21 minutes.  Cool 5 min, remove to wire racks to cool completely.  Will make 24 muffins.

Enjoy!

P.S.  If you are not like me and don't stock up nf cake mixes when they are $0.79, then you can use this recipe from Ina on the food channel that I plan to try next, in place of the packaged cake mix use:

2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
4 large eggs
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup vegetable oil

Then follow the steps above.

Bella's Very Pink Bedroom

Bella's new bedroom.

It's just a little overwhelmingly pink.  The chair in the corner was a gift from my mother.  I would love to refinish it, make it look a little more modern (it was purchased at an estate sale).  Maybe when I have time.

 We have yet to hang artwork, finish the closet, etc.  All in good time. 

Bella seems to enjoy her new room, but then she can't really tell me otherwise.  I guess she could cry every time she went in there, which she doesn't, so we will call it a success.

Tiny Changes

I had to show you my minor changes to the light fixture turned lantern.

I got a taller/skinnier candle, changed the leaves for more realistic ones, and added the raven.  I absolutely love the raven, it looks so real.  Now we just need to get out and buy some pumpkins.

Mom Cave

I think I'm going to jump on this new bandwagon of women designing "mom caves".  Basically rooms for themselves whether is an office, craft room, guest room etc.  We have officially moved Bella into her new bedroom (pictures to come as soon as the new bedding gets here).  Her old bedroom is going to become the new guest room/office/craft room.  I have some exciting plans, and I'm sure it will be awhile before it all comes together.  But I would like to base the design on a rug I found at Target the other day.

Can you even see it (for some reason I couldn't zoom in without distorting the image)?